Panic Attacks

I have had only a very small number of them; thank goodness.  I had one in November that left me crippled in fear of impending doom.  It still lingers to this day.  

Yesterday I met with my psychologist to discuss next steps in my care.  We talked openly about going to the dark places that terrorize my psyche and the tools to do so.  

I came home and explained the events of the session to my mother.  I went over to my house and was suddenly gripped with my third ever panic attack and the crippling fears that comes with these events.  I was soon sobbing on the bed screaming out that I had lost control again and that I was broken and so lost.  I was devastated and destroyed by the event.

I have not slept more than a few minutes throughout the night.  I am gripped by horrifying and irrational fears.  It terrifies me.  I have never been so lost.  I am barely holding it together.  

I pray each and every waking moment for a path back to control.  I have to find my way back.  I am only 51 years old.  

Help me, Lord!

Stan